Breaking the cycle: a journey to heal inherited family trauma

You can’t heal what you don’t acknowledge

Sometimes, what looks like relationship conflict, anxiety, or burnout on the surface is actually the symptom of something much deeper, something inherited.

This is the power and pain of generational trauma. It doesn’t always look like big, obvious wounds. It hides in our emotional triggers, parenting patterns, relationships, intimacy blocks, and how we respond to stress.

If you’ve ever felt like the black sheep of your family, the one who’s too sensitive, too emotional, or perhaps you are always stirring the pot, you are not alone. In fact, you might be the first person in your lineage trying to heal the emotional wounds that have been passed down for generations.

Generational trauma healing is a courageous thing to do, and it can be a lonely path. It requires questioning family norms, feeling emotions that were previously buried, and rewriting patterns that have gone unchallenged for decades, sometimes centuries. Today, I want to share a story from one of my clients, with permission and anonymity protected, of a woman who broke the cycle. This client came to me at the end of her rope. Years of talk therapy hadn’t touched the core issue, and the weight of trauma was showing up in her marriage, her body, and her family in ways she didn’t fully understand. She needed a shift, she was ready for change - this is when we started working together.

When talk therapy isn’t enough: the hidden patterns behind the pain

This client came to me exhausted, disconnected from her husband, and burdened by a deep sense that something was fundamentally wrong, not just in her relationship, but in her sense of self.

She had been in talk therapy for years, trying to save a marriage strained by emotional distance and a painful lack of intimacy. Eventually, her husband disclosed he had been sexually abused as a child, something that deeply shaped his relationship with closeness and sex.

What she didn’t expect was that, through our work together, she too would uncover her own suppressed history of childhood sexual abuse. For decades, she had coped by disassociating, keeping herself endlessly busy, over-functioning, and trying to fix everything; her husband, her family, her life.

Even more devastating: she discovered that her daughter had also been sexually abused. This thread of abuse was moving through her family, through generations. 

The pain was overwhelming. But it wasn’t the end, it was the beginning of true healing.

Looking beneath the surface and healing the root emotional patterns

Through generational trauma-informed coaching, we began to unravel the deeper emotional and energetic patterns that had been running silently beneath the surface for generations.

Working together with my framework or support which includes tools like breathwork, somatic release, and nervous system regulation, we were able to trace the patterns beyond her immediate family.

As we went further, we uncovered subconscious beliefs and coping mechanisms that had been passed down from her great-grandparents. This included emotional suppression, the normalization of silence, and learned helplessness around abuse.

This illustrates the difference between talk therapy and my generational trauma therapy. Here we don’t just talk about the trauma, we work with the trauma that is stored in the body, encoded in the nervous system, and embedded in emotional responses. And we find a path forward, together. 

Healing doesn’t erase the past, but it can liberate the future

We couldn’t change what had happened. But we could change what came next.

This client didn’t just process her own trauma, she began to shift the entire emotional tone of her lineage.

Her marriage, while still complex, began to experience moments of softness, safety, and genuine emotional connection. Her parenting shifted. She learned how to regulate her nervous system, rather than react from panic or shutdown. She stopped trying to fix everything and began to feel grounded in her own healing.

Most importantly, she broke the cycle. Her daughter now has a mother who sees, feels, and responds from a regulated, empowered place, and that alone changes everything.

Are you ready to break the cycle?

If this story stirred something in you, I want you to know:
You are not broken.
You are holding pain that was never yours to carry.

And you can begin healing, deeply, gently, and in a way that honors your body, your lineage, and your future.

If you feel ready to go beyond talking and start transforming. I will guide you through the exact tools I used with this client so you can embark on gentle nervous system healing.

Let’s end the cycle.
Not with shame, but with compassion, curiosity, and courage.
You don’t have to carry the weight of your family’s pain forever.
You get to be the one who chooses differently.