Losing yourself in becoming a new version of you

There’s a moment I think hits most women, it’s not necessarily dramatic, not cinematic…just a quiet, steady realization:

‘I don’t recognize myself anymore.’

It doesn’t have to happen overnight, it’s not the result of one breakdown or one bad day. It’s a slow burn…a subtle unraveling…the feeling of being in your life but not fully in yourself.

When it happened to me, I thought that meant something was wrong. Now I know as I have lived it, it means something is waking up.

Because the truth is:
You can’t evolve into a version of you you’ve never met…without losing the version you’ve already been.

The disappearing act you don’t notice until it’s too late

When I became a wife, and then a mother, and layered on business owner, I did what so many women do (and wore it as a badge of honor). 

I ran fast, I was ON IT. I carried everything for everyone, I did it all, and I did it well.

All the boxes were being ticked:

My babies were thriving.
My home ran beautifully.
My cooking was dialed in.
My businesses were flowing.
I could throw together a charcuterie board and pour wine when a friend stopped by, without breaking a sweat.

And I was proud of that. Deeply proud. I was smashing life on the surface. 

But here’s the part I slowly began to realize. 

Somewhere in the middle of being everything for everyone…I stopped being anything for myself.

Not in a ‘my life is falling apart’ way. This wasn’t some dramatic fall from grace.
It was death by a thousand cuts.

If you stripped away the labels I was proudly wearing; wife, mother, entrepreneur, friend - I didn’t know how to answer the simplest question:

‘Who am I beyond the titles?’

The slow burn that finally gets loud

It started quietly.

I didn’t feel inspired, I felt a disconnect happening, even though I LOVED my life. I was going to bed exhausted in the evening, and waking up feeling a bit blah…but to the outside world my life looked pretty damn perfect. 

The reflection in the mirror became someone I recognized… but didn’t fully know.
And that’s the part no one warns you about:

Outgrowing your old identity feels a lot like losing yourself.

But it’s not loss. It’s initiation.

Evolution is not polite. It’s not comfortable. It’s not linear.

Becoming a new version of you isn’t gentle. It brings you face-to-face with everything you’ve ignored because you were too busy surviving and striving, and honestly on the surface maybe you were thriving. 

But digging deeper, really activating your soul can strip you of what you know, it can expose parts of you that you had buried deep (or maybe didn’t even know were there).

But here’s the thing

Your rebirth doesn’t ask for permission. It asks for participation.

For me, the shift came when I finally stopped trying to ‘fix’ the disconnect and instead sat with it. I looked at the transitions I’d lived through. I asked really fucking hard questions, and I answered them honestly. I created space and I made the changes I had been avoiding.

And this is the part I want women to hear, and to accept - through this growth and change you don’t ‘go back to yourself’ you expand into who you are becoming. It’s a shedding of skins, and an acceptance of a new presence. 

Motherhood, marriage, business all these labels and roles have the potential to stretch you into a version of yourself you don’t recognise. And that’s where most women get lost; trying to perform a version of ourselves while our soul is begging us to evolve. 

This in-between, this identity limbo, the liminal space is where my work lives.

If you’re feeling your identity shift, if your nervous system is overwhelmed, if you find yourself craving more connection, more embodiment, more honest parts of yourself it might be time to call it out. 

You don’t need to choose. It’s not being everything for them OR being something for yourself. So if you are reading this thinking ‘shit, this is exactly me’ I promise you that you get to be a whole person. You deserve to be supported. You need to be nourished while you nourish others.

Regardless of the season of life you are in, you deserve grounding, emotional regulation, support and a space where your needs matter again.

Start your evolution here:

If you’re seeing yourself in this blog, or are moving through a major shift be it motherhood, postpartum, relationship transitions, or a season of personal awakening from January I will be offering deep, tailored 1:1 support. In these sessions I will work with you to regulate your nervous system, reconnect to yourself and return to your power. We will navigate through the hard parts together and you’ll step into the year not recognizing yourself for all the right reasons. You don’t have to keep pretending you’re fine.

Meet me here or drop me an email to find out more about how we can work through this together. 

Your evolution isn’t coming. It’s happening. Own it.